The title of my blog post sheer poetry, as Rinny has put it. Such beautiful words. Anyway.

Dear Prat Classmate,

Why apologise if you are going to sound insincere? Why the bad grammar? Why bring up other girls who are not related to me in any way? Why put Captain Jack Sparrow as your screen name when you cannot measure to Johnny Depp who is at the epitome of utter sexiness? Why do you want to be best friends who with any one who is on the verge of strangling you as you live and breathe? I do not want to be best friends. Yes, I have best friends. You are so not joining the best friend league. Why bring up Lin and Rakesh and Rinny and Hun? Why are they even involved?

Why, I was not even annoyed before. Now I am writhing in blind anger. I say blind, because … I forgot what it was all about. Motherfucker. I have downgraded to one of those people who litter their blog posts with swear words. I have become a short-tempered person with a small vocabulary. This is so annoying. I had my routine lunch with Lin. I have a photography date with my wife coming up. And I had an awesome date with Hun last night where my spring roll had four prawns in it and we laughed and talked a lot (though, not just about the spring roll). We even encountered Killer Myvis, which are basically Myvis revving about with screechy tires like they want to run people over. Like Cars, but on crack. Not that I have seen Cars.

I cannot stand it when someone brings other people into an argument. A small understanding can exacerbate into a big fuss where everyone involved is confused. There is a saying that goes, don’t say anything if you don’t have anything nice to say. I would like to add, don’t say anything nice if you don’t have anything to say. Just be the prick that you are.

Oh yes. Sorry for swearing like a motherfucker when I know that it makes you poo your pants. And sorry for not accepting you as who you are. I am incapable of socialising. And I do not like you. I still do not want to be friends. But I do not hate you. Hatred cuts you off from abundance. One hundred and eight, three.

Dear Lin and Rakesh,

I am dedicating this post to the two of you because you read my blog without even bothering to comment. Now I am determined to steal your IP addresses, just because I can.

Anyway, let us backtrack two Sundays. My inner photographer has been pent up far too long – long enough for me to not need to recharge Depp90′s batteries for a whole month. (Besides, the battery life is amazing.) I finally satiated my need to shoot last last Sunday as Ryu grabbed me as the photographer for a maid photo session. The sort of maids you see at otaku conventions with throngs of guys swooning at their feet. The shoot was at the area where Saku and Ryu stayed. Iwashi was busy so we started shooting pretty late, but I had fun talking to Saku and Ryu before the shoot. Saku’s other half, Kim came over too. Yeah, which man would not want to see his girlfriend in a maid outfit? What I did not quite enjoy was watching the bleeding props we used for the photos. Now, they let me steal some of the blueberries from the dessert stand. Saku fed me some of her Flakes. I stole some tea. But the petits fours took an immense amount of willpower to ignore. They are like, the most masochistic things you have ever seen, simply begging to be swallowed whole.

Fuck petits fours.

Yet, for the love of photography, I resisted. I mean, the photo shoot would have gone the drain had the idiot photographer gone berserk and unleashed her gluttony upon the poor dessert. We took tons of photos in glaring sunshine, but the maids were awesome. Ryu, Saku and Iwashi just maintained their composure in photos (except for a few shots where they reverted to their normal crazy selves). They just looked so sweet I had lots of fun shooting. Once the photo session was over we trudged back to the apartment and feasted on dessert. That was our lunch, oh yes. Then they gave me a box of simply decadent blueberries to take home. The blueberries I bought for big brother’s engagement were squishy and too ripe, but these were just perfect. I finished them that very night, because the rest of family could not care less about berries.

My gorgeous models.

Personally, I just like my gorgeous models when they misbehave.

Oh, and this, this is me, with a boken. Do scroll down and away.

On the recent Sunday, I really, really, had no idea what I was thinking when I decided to drag Hun to meet the Gay Squad. Stepo and Zuzu could not make it. Zuzu was busy. Stepo was just … away from her phone for some reason. We had tea at a random, not particularly nice Korean place. Nanas had Korean ais kacang which was odd. Putih had kebab which the menu insisted was bulgogi wrap. Putih and Fen are decent enough – they know not to make attempts at phallic humour in the presence of people they have just met.

However, with Nanas, everything is a sexual innuendo, bubble tea pearls, straws, camera lenses, the caps of camera lenses, lens hoods, and more so right after she acquaints herself with someone. Curse her aunt for getting her a Nikon D90! Nanas spent a good two hours directly and/ or indirectly addressing my boyfriend’s wotsits while Fen and Putih steered clear of topics that would excite her. I felt like I was waiting for the world to spin off its axis into oblivion. I owe Honeypie bibimbap or whatever meal he wishes, for putting him through so much terror. Any man deserves the highest of commendations for tolerating Nanas’s penis jokes for two hours. Especially if he is mine, hahaha.

Korean ais kacang.

Every shiny surface is a camwhore opportunity!

Thursday marked the end of my first week back at university, but I blogged late because I was lazy busy. It was a pretty good week, although I had to return with the heavy knowledge that I had fucked up my finals. Except for programming, hee. On the first day back, I had four hours of class, three hours of which were not bad. One of the subjects had an incompetent lecturer who basically read out the formulas that were on the slides.  Anis and Anis and I are very happy with the hostel room we have been assigned to. It is on the first floor and is a bit smaller than our previous room, but had very good ventilation.  Lin, Rakesh and I had lunch together just to recap on what happened during the holidays, nothing much, really. Rakesh had skipped two classes that day. Lin, on the other hand, has only skipped two classes – ever. The woman is insane. I spent the rest of the day organising my corner.

Hun and I went out for an exotic Yemeni dinner at the only good food place in the city. I photocopied diagrams and later visited his nearly furniture-free apartment to pick up bills that were not there. The view from the balcony was rather romantic compared to than Lin’s or Ina’s or Yong’s balconies. There were other very nice things too, which I will not elaborate on further. Hahahaha. Hun gave me a lovely vanity box which I am currently using for hair accessories. He also wrote me a letter that has turned me into a serial giggler. Like Barbie. I’ll say, it was the Monday evening of my life.

Anticlimactically, the rest of the week went on without any major incidents. It was a familiar routine – going to classes, eating in between classes, going on Facebook every two seconds and sleeping a lot.  So far, I have not skipped any classes, except for the time Hatchin, Rakesh, Fairuz and I had tea in the middle of a Basic Accounting, Economic and Management lecture. Most of the students took off during the middle of the lecture though. You cannot possibly make Engineering students learn about business. It would make them throw up blood. I thought it was fairly interesting for ten minutes, until Hatchin and Yong started talking about weather. Then, I listened to them instead.

I went home on Thursday and half-napped a lot and now it is Saturday. Oh well. I have a photo shoot tomorrow at Saku’s and Ryu’s. I hope I will be able to take good photos! Phwoar.